Questions Before Having Kids

Becoming a parent changes everything. These questions will help you and your partner think through readiness, values, finances, and the kind of family life you want to create together.

1. 1Why do you want to have children, and is the desire coming from within or from external pressure?
2. 2How do you envision your life changing once a child arrives?
3. 3What kind of parent do you want to be, and where does that vision come from?
4. 4How do you and your partner agree or disagree on parenting styles?
5. 5What is your financial readiness for raising a child?
6. 6How do you feel about the impact a child will have on your career?
7. 7What sacrifices are you prepared to make, and which ones feel too heavy?
8. 8How do you plan to handle childcare responsibilities?
9. 9What role will extended family play in your child's life?
10. 10How do you feel about your current living situation for raising a family?
11. 11What are your thoughts on education, public versus private versus homeschool?
12. 12How do you plan to handle disagreements about parenting with your partner?
13. 13What is your approach to discipline, and where does it come from?
14. 14How do you feel about the state of the world your child would grow up in?
15. 15What values do you consider non negotiable to pass on to your children?
16. 16How do you plan to balance your relationship with your partner after a baby arrives?
17. 17What support system do you have in place for the early months?
18. 18How do you feel about your mental health readiness for parenthood?
19. 19What is your biggest fear about becoming a parent?
20. 20How do you plan to handle sleep deprivation and the physical demands?
21. 21What conversations about religion or spirituality do you need to have first?
22. 22How do you feel about the division of household labor changing?
23. 23What is your plan for parental leave, and does your workplace support it?
24. 24How do you feel about the concept of being responsible for another human being?
25. 25What childhood experiences of your own do you want to replicate?

26. 26What childhood experiences do you want to make sure never repeat?
27. 27How do you plan to maintain your identity outside of being a parent?
28. 28What is your approach to screen time and technology for children?
29. 29How do you feel about the financial cost of raising a child to adulthood?
30. 30What is your plan for emergencies, health insurance, and unexpected expenses?
31. 31How do you feel about fertility, and are you prepared for the possibility of challenges?
32. 32What is your stance on adoption or alternative paths to parenthood?
33. 33How do you plan to talk to your child about difficult topics like race, gender, and identity?
34. 34What does a happy childhood look like to you?
35. 35How do you feel about the loss of spontaneity that comes with parenthood?
36. 36What is your approach to setting boundaries with well meaning relatives?
37. 37How do you plan to keep your social life alive after having kids?
38. 38What is your philosophy on work life balance as a parent?
39. 39How do you feel about the pressure to be a perfect parent?
40. 40What is your approach to nutrition and health for your children?
41. 41How do you plan to create a safe and nurturing home environment?
42. 42What is your stance on co sleeping, breastfeeding, and other early parenting choices?
43. 43How do you feel about the idea of raising children in your current city or town?
44. 44What is your plan for saving for your child's future education?
45. 45How do you feel about sharing your child's life on social media?
46. 46What is the most important quality you want to model for your children?
47. 47How do you plan to handle your own emotional triggers as a parent?
48. 48What is your approach to fostering independence in your children?
49. 49How do you feel about the idea that your child might be very different from you?
50. 50What is your plan for date nights and couple time after kids?

51. 51How do you feel about secondhand parenting advice from strangers?
52. 52What is your approach to encouraging creativity and curiosity in children?
53. 53How do you plan to handle the transition from being a couple to being a family?
54. 54What is your biggest hope for your future child?
55. 55How do you feel about the environmental impact of having children?
56. 56What is your plan for teaching your child about money and responsibility?
57. 57How do you feel about the possibility of postpartum depression or anxiety?
58. 58What is your approach to celebrating milestones and traditions as a family?
59. 59How do you plan to handle the inevitable moments of doubt and exhaustion?
60. 60What is your stance on gender roles in parenting?
61. 61How do you feel about raising a child in today's political climate?
62. 62What is one thing you want your child to always feel at home?
63. 63How do you plan to teach empathy and emotional intelligence?
64. 64What is your approach to managing your own stress as a new parent?
65. 65How do you feel about asking for help when you need it?
66. 66What is the one thing you want to get right above all else?
67. 67How do you plan to handle sibling dynamics if you have more than one child?
68. 68What is your vision for family vacations and quality time together?
69. 69How do you feel about your own parents' approach to raising you?
70. 70What is one conversation you need to have with your partner before trying?
71. 71How do you plan to protect your child's mental health in a digital world?
72. 72What is your approach to teaching your child about failure and resilience?
73. 73How do you feel about the idea of unconditional love, and what does it look like in practice?
74. 74What is the single biggest reason you feel ready to become a parent?
75. 75How do you plan to navigate the opinions of friends who do or do not have kids?

76. 76What is your approach to nurturing your child's unique talents and interests?
77. 77How do you feel about the possibility that parenthood might not match your expectations?
78. 78What is the most important thing you want to teach your child about the world?
79. 79How do you plan to balance structure and freedom in your parenting?
80. 80What is one thing about parenthood that genuinely excites you?
81. 81How do you feel about the irreversibility of the decision to have a child?
82. 82What is your approach to building a community around your family?
83. 83How do you plan to handle the moments when you have no idea what you are doing?
84. 84What is one thing you need to resolve within yourself before becoming a parent?
85. 85How do you feel about the relationship between patience and parenting?
86. 86What is the one piece of advice you would give to yourself as a future parent?
87. 87How do you plan to stay connected to your partner through the chaos of early parenthood?
88. 88What is your biggest motivation for wanting to bring a new life into the world?
89. 89How do you feel about letting your child make their own mistakes?
90. 90What is the most honest answer you can give about your readiness right now?
91. 91How do you envision telling your child about how they were wanted and planned for?
92. 92What is one fear about parenthood that you are willing to face?
93. 93How do you plan to create a home that feels like a safe harbor for everyone in it?
94. 94What is one thing that would make you feel truly confident about this decision?
95. 95How do you feel about the legacy you want to leave through your children?
96. 96What is the most important question you and your partner should answer together?
97. 97How do you feel about the balance between planning and letting life happen?
98. 98What is one thing you want your child to know about you, even before they are born?
99. 99What does the word family mean to you at its deepest level?

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