Questions for Couples Therapy

Therapy is not about fixing what is broken. It is about building something stronger. These questions offer a starting point for the kind of honest, vulnerable conversations that transform relationships.

1. 1What brought us to this point, and what do you hope we get out of this?
2. 2What is the one thing you wish I truly understood about your experience?
3. 3When did you first notice something was off between us?
4. 4What does safety look like in our relationship for you?
5. 5How do you feel when we argue, and what happens inside you?
6. 6What is one thing I do that makes you feel loved?
7. 7What is one thing I do that unintentionally hurts you?
8. 8How do you feel about the way we handle conflict?
9. 9What is one unmet need in our relationship that you have been carrying?
10. 10Do you feel like I listen to you, truly listen?
11. 11What is the story you tell yourself about our relationship?
12. 12How do you feel about our level of intimacy right now?
13. 13What is one fear you have about our future together?
14. 14How did your family of origin shape the way you show up in relationships?
15. 15What is one pattern between us that you want to change?
16. 16Do you feel like we are a team, or does it feel like we are opponents?
17. 17What does forgiveness look like for you in this relationship?
18. 18How do you feel about the balance of power between us?
19. 19What is one thing you need from me that you have been afraid to ask for?
20. 20How do you define emotional availability, and do you feel I provide it?
21. 21What was the happiest period of our relationship, and what made it so?
22. 22How do you feel about how we make decisions together?
23. 23What is one assumption you make about me that might not be accurate?
24. 24How do you experience trust in our relationship right now?
25. 25What is the most vulnerable thing you could share with me today?

26. 26How do you feel about the way we divide responsibilities?
27. 27What does respect look like in our relationship?
28. 28How do you cope when you feel disconnected from me?
29. 29What is one thing you admire about me that you rarely say out loud?
30. 30How has our relationship changed since the beginning, and how do you feel about that?
31. 31What is one boundary you need me to honor more consistently?
32. 32How do you feel about the role of independence in our relationship?
33. 33What is one thing we used to do that you miss?
34. 34How do you feel when I am stressed or overwhelmed?
35. 35What does a repair attempt look like to you after an argument?
36. 36How do you feel about the way we handle money together?
37. 37What is one dream for our relationship that feels out of reach?
38. 38How do you want me to respond when you are hurting?
39. 39What is one thing about yourself that you think affects our relationship?
40. 40How do you feel about our social life as a couple?
41. 41What is the biggest misunderstanding between us right now?
42. 42How do you feel about the way we express affection?
43. 43What is one thing you have forgiven me for but still feel the weight of?
44. 44How do you want our relationship to look one year from now?
45. 45What is one thing I could start doing today that would make a difference?
46. 46How do you feel about the way we support each other's individual goals?
47. 47What is the hardest thing about being in a relationship with me?
48. 48How do you feel when I apologize, and do my apologies feel genuine?
49. 49What is one thing we agree on that gives you hope?
50. 50How do you feel about the way we talk about our relationship with others?

51. 51What is one thing you wish you could take back?
52. 52How do you experience anger, and how do you want me to respond to it?
53. 53What does emotional safety mean to you?
54. 54How do you feel about the role of gratitude in our relationship?
55. 55What is one thing we need to grieve together?
56. 56How do you feel about our communication during calm moments versus tense ones?
57. 57What is one thing you want me to know about your inner world?
58. 58How do you feel about the concept of growing together versus growing apart?
59. 59What is one thing our relationship has taught you about yourself?
60. 60How do you measure progress in a relationship?
61. 61What is one question you have been avoiding because the answer scares you?
62. 62How do you feel about seeking help, and what does it mean that we are here?
63. 63What is the most important thing you want to protect in our relationship?
64. 64How do you feel about compromise versus sacrifice?
65. 65What is one moment when you felt truly seen by me?
66. 66How do you want to handle future disagreements differently?
67. 67What is one thing about our relationship that you are grateful for today?
68. 68How do you feel about the pace of change between us?
69. 69What is one belief about relationships that you have had to unlearn?
70. 70How do you want me to show you that I am committed to this?
71. 71What is one thing that keeps you here, even on the hard days?
72. 72How do you feel about the balance between giving and receiving in our relationship?
73. 73What is one thing you need to hear from me right now?
74. 74How do you define a healthy relationship in your own words?
75. 75What is one thing you want our therapist to know about us?

76. 76How do you feel about the role of humor in our relationship?
77. 77What is the one conversation we keep circling back to?
78. 78How do you feel about our ability to celebrate each other?
79. 79What is one new agreement we could make together right now?
80. 80How do you feel about the way we handle stress as a couple?
81. 81What is one thing you love about us that has nothing to do with the hard stuff?
82. 82How do you feel about our physical connection right now?
83. 83What is one hope you hold for our relationship that you have not spoken?
84. 84How do you feel about vulnerability, and is it safe to be vulnerable with me?
85. 85What is the most important question we should be asking each other?
86. 86How do you want to feel when you come home to me?
87. 87What is one thing that would help you trust the process of healing?
88. 88How do you feel about starting over, not from scratch, but from understanding?
89. 89What is one thing you are willing to work on for us?
90. 90How do you feel about where we are right now, in this moment?
91. 91What is the one thing you want me to remember from today?
92. 92How do you envision our relationship at its very best?
93. 93What is one thing you are ready to let go of?
94. 94How do you feel about the possibility that we can be better than before?
95. 95What is one word that describes how you feel about us right now?
96. 96How do you want our love story to continue from here?
97. 97What is the most courageous thing we could do for our relationship today?
98. 98How do you feel about being here, together, doing this work?
99. 99What is one thing you want me to carry with me from this conversation?
100. 100What does love look like to you when it is at its healthiest?

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